Mary Tyler Moore’s Gravesite & The Tragic Details of Her Final Days

Mary Tyler Moore’s Gravesite & The Tragic Details of Her Final Days

Mary Tyler Moore on Saturday nights at 9:30. We used to watch it. It was my mom’s favorite show, and it had such a cool opening and such a cool song. I wish I had the rights to play the whole thing because it really gets you into a mood. This is a funeral flower from Mary Tyler Moore’s funeral that we were given. It belongs in our funeral flower collection, which, if you have seen, includes Kirk Douglas, Debbie Reynolds, Carrie Fisher, Jerry Maren, Ray Charles, and Etta James—so many, so many. Today, however, is about Mary Tyler Moore.

Oh, bless your heart. Even with affection, I just did not want to be alone in this thing. I thought if everybody else could come out here and louse up, then so could I. This is a new microphone that I got the other day, and I am hoping it will improve things. Now, we just have to remember how to connect it and remember to use it because it is supposed to be very easy. I like the sound from what I have seen and heard so far. So, please let us know in the comments if you can hear this thing.

Mary Tyler Moore was born in Brooklyn in 1936 and spent her early childhood in Flatbush before moving west with her family when she was eight years old. She attended a school in Los Feliz—which, if you pronounced it properly, would be “Los Feliz,” but no one does—called Immaculate Heart. It was a Catholic girls’ school attended by Lucy Arnez. She graduated from there in 1969. Tyra Banks, Charlotte Caffey of the Go-Go’s, and Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, all graduated from Immaculate Heart.

Mary Tyler Moore got into acting by starting with commercials. There was an appliance company called Hotpoint, for which she played the “Hotpoint Elf.” I believe she appeared in about 50 commercials. So, Hotpoint’s exclusive system of spotless cleansing not only leaves dishes hygienically clean, it actually makes everything sparkle. Tell your dealer you want the dishwasher with that Hotpoint sparkle. She was quite successful at that. She got married when she was 18 years old to a man named Richard Meeker, and she became pregnant almost immediately. Consequently, she had to stop being the Hotpoint Elf because her pregnancy was showing. In 1956, Richard Carlton Meeker Jr. was born. Her husband was Dick, or Richard, Meeker, and he was 28 when they were married. Everyone called their son Richie Meeker. The marriage between Dick Meeker and Mary Tyler Moore did not last very long; they divorced in 1962. That same year, she married Grant Tinker, who was a television executive for CBS and, much later, would become the chairman of NBC. They were together when he was at CBS.

Her big break came in 1961 when she was cast by Carl Reiner in The Dick Van Dyke Show as Laura Petrie, Dick Van Dyke’s wife. Dick Van Dyke and Mary Tyler Moore had great chemistry on screen. I think it is fair to say that she was sort of modeled—she was her own person, of course, with her own acting style and personality—but she had a Jackie Kennedy vibe at that time: very fashionable, with a similar hairstyle. I do think she appealed to a lot of people because she was reminiscent of Jacqueline Kennedy when the show started in 1960 or 1961.

In 1970, Mary and Grant Tinker formed MTM Enterprises, which was sort of a spoof of MGM. MGM had the lion, and Mary Tyler Moore had the cat, which was actually her own pet. I will talk about that in a second. This was clearly after The Dick Van Dyke Show, a very successful television program, went off the air. They developed The Mary Tyler Moore Show, and she was going to be the star; she was going to be a single, career-driven woman. I am pretty sure they originally wanted Mary to be a divorced woman who moved to Minneapolis to work in television. However, the network did not like that because people would say she was divorcing Dick Van Dyke; it was, I guess, too close on the heels of The Dick Van Dyke Show. So, they decided to make it so Mary Tyler Moore was engaged to someone whom she helped put through medical school, and when he became a doctor, he dumped her. She found that plot really pretty awful; she did not like it at all. But she said it was more appealing than being a divorced woman like the character would have been on The Dick Van Dyke Show.

People fell in love with her. She was sort of America’s sweetheart. The theme song, which I love—I wish I could play it, but YouTube will not let you because it is copyrighted—was a real comfort. I just love that theme song because it was on at 9:00 or 9:30 on Saturday nights. I remember it was weekly; we would take our baths, wear pajamas, and watch The Mary Tyler Moore Show on a Saturday. Remember when shows were on Saturday nights? It is almost a foreign concept anymore. Sunny Curtis is the guy who wrote and sang the theme, “Love Is All Around.”

Some of the scenes show Mary interacting with crew members in the opening credits, while others involve the show’s production. In one, a camera zooms in on Mary eating at a restaurant overlooking the Crystal Court at the IDS Center with an older man. This is a place in Minneapolis used for the opening credits, and the man she is sitting with is Grant Tinker, her husband. Also, there was another scene showing Mary walking through a park, where she is passed by two joggers. Co-creator James Brooks and producer David Davis were those people going by.

Mary Tyler Moore’s home was a Victorian house that still exists in Minneapolis. It was used for the exterior shots during the first five seasons, and then she had to move into an apartment building. It got kind of blurry at the end because I grew up and became less interested in television, but I do remember her leaving her apartment. She had taken the “M” with her and moved to the apartment. I think that is how it went. Regardless, the house was used for the exterior shots and still exists in Minneapolis. It was a 9,500-square-foot home. Mary Richards lived on the second floor, Phyllis, played by Cloris Leachman, lived on the first floor, and Rhoda lived in the attic. I remember that opening; it was the first episode, and there was not a pilot—it was commissioned right away. The first episode had Rhoda cleaning the windows because she thought she was going to be moving into Mary’s apartment, which set up the dynamic. I guess originally they did not like the Rhoda and Mary chemistry because they did not like the idea of people being rude—of Rhoda being rude to Mary. That is why they brought Phyllis in to act as a buffer between the two.

The show ran for seven seasons. It spent six years in the top 20 and won an astonishing 29 Emmy Awards, which was a record only beaten by Frasier. It also spawned three successful spin-offs: Rhoda, Phyllis, and Lou Grant. It was unique because Lou Grant was not a sitcom, but became a drama series. It was a good show. I also loved Rhoda, and I liked Phyllis too. I thought they were all great shows. Cloris Leachman used to bug the heck out of me, but that was her character. Now, as an older person, I have grown quite fond of it.

It was filmed at CBS Radford Studios, which is the former Republic Studios in the San Fernando Valley. Interestingly, right now, as we speak—within the last six days—it was foreclosed on by the investors. The owner was not making the payments or could not make the payments. So, right now, the lot is in jeopardy, and no one knows what is going to happen to it. There is all kinds of strange stuff going on in Hollywood right now because Paramount Studios wants to buy Warner Brothers, which is up for sale. The lot is up for sale, Netflix wants to buy it, and it is a big deal because it involves the future of movies, television, and streaming. So, there is a lot going on. The CBS Radford lot is where they filmed Gilligan’s Island, Seinfeld, and I am pretty sure they did Roseanne there. I know I did an episode of Entertainment Tonight there. It is a possibility that the lot might be razed and apartments or something built in its place, which would not surprise me because that is a very desirable piece of land—55 acres. That is a desirable piece of property, no doubt.

As I mentioned, the show spawned three spin-offs. WKRP in Cincinnati was another MTM production, as were The Bob Newhart Show, St. Elsewhere, Hill Street Blues, and Newhart. MTM, Mary Tyler Moore, and Grant Tinker’s business put together those shows too. The kitten I mentioned earlier, which meowed at the end of every episode, was actually Mary’s cat. Mimsy was the name of the cat. Mary won six Primetime Emmys, three Golden Globes, and two Tony Awards. She received a Lifetime Achievement honor from the Screen Actors Guild and an American Comedy Award. She was inducted into the Television Hall of Fame, and somebody bought her a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. That is an honor for people, but make no mistake: it is a financial transaction. For that money—now it is probably $70,000; when Mary got hers, it may have been $15,000 or $20,000—a price for a star on the Walk of Fame does not guarantee cleaning. You will get a wreath when you die, though. If something happens to it—if it gets cracked, as has happened to some—the Chamber of Commerce is liable for it; they do have to replace it. So, there is a certain amount of insurance, I suppose, on that price tag. Usually, you get a name on a star and a wreath when you die, and that is what happened in Mary’s case.

The Mary Tyler Moore Show ended in 1977. Everyone really rode high on that show, which featured some great stars: Murray Slaughter, Gavin MacLeod, Betty White, Ted Knight, Ed Asner, and Cloris Leachman. It was a very successful show for them all. Then the show ended. Mary did some television here and there, and television movies. There was a variety show for a while. 1980 was a year that was rough—both good and bad—because she and Grant Tinker had split up. In 1979, they separated. She starred in a movie called Ordinary People. If you have seen Ordinary People, it is a really hard movie to get through—not because it is boring, but because it deals with a horrible, tough subject matter. She and her husband and son lost another son, and Mary was going through the grief, sort of blaming others for it. It was a difficult movie.

“All he wants is to know that you don’t hate him.” “That’s… hate him? God, how could I hate him? Mothers don’t hate their sons. Is that what he told you? Do you see how you accept what he says with no questions, and you can’t do the same thing for me?” “Trying to keep this family together.” “I don’t know what anyone wants from me anymore.” “Nobody wants…”

Ultimately, she was nominated for an Academy Award for that film. It is a good movie; it is just a tough movie to watch. During that time, she and Grant Tinker were split up, and she dated Steve Martin and Warren Beatty briefly. What a beautiful couple they would have made; Mary Tyler Moore was beautiful. She played the mother of a son who died, and while coping with grief, she alienated the rest of her family. The part gave her a lot of attention and the Oscar nomination.

But shortly after the film was released, the unthinkable happened for Mary Tyler Moore. On October 15, 1980, she got a phone call from Grant Tinker saying, “If you’re standing, you should sit down. It’s Richie, your son. He’s dead.” Richie, 24 years old, died from a wound to the head from a weapon while alone in his bedroom near the University of Southern California. He was a weapon collector, and he had been handling one called a “Snake Charmer.” While watching television, it discharged and ended him. The coroner ruled the death accidental; actually, that particular weapon had such a sensitive trigger that they took it off the market shortly afterward. It was a dangerous weapon, as any weapon is, but that particular one was taken off because it was so sensitive that it was very easy for it to go off. It did, and it ended Richie Meeker.

They had a funeral, and our friend Mike Steen—whom I interviewed—the funeral director who worked at Westwood Cemetery, handled Richie Meeker’s funeral. Mike talks a little bit about that, as did Mary Tyler Moore. Now, you did work with her son, didn’t you? “Yes. And at that time, she was married to Grant Tinker.” “So I went to the Bair mansion to make the arrangements there, and she opened the door and said, ‘Hi, I’m Mary.’ And so it was Grant and Mary and Mike for the four or five days.” “And then I took the urn back to the house. And so in her autobiography, I think I am listed as the funeral director who brought the urn. I am not named.”

The press described the funeral: Miss Moore, dressed in a black suit and a magenta and black blouse, sat through the ceremony at Westwood Memorial Park with her estranged husband, Grant Tinker, who kept his arm around her throughout the tribute paid to her son by longtime friends. She and Mr. Tinker were flanked by only eight chairs on the cemetery lawn by Miss Moore’s relatives and the Meeker family from Sacramento, including Richard, her ex-husband and Richie’s father. She later wrote, “Mary Tyler Moore had his ashes scattered over the Owens River.” She said, “What was meant to be a prayer became an outraged demand.” She yelled to the sky, “You take care of him now.” I guess he had been troubled over the years. He went to Betty Ford, he had been into rehab, and he had a lot of issues. He left Mary and went to live with his father, then they made up, and he moved back with Mary. It was a rough life for him, and ending that way was really tough on Mary, as it would be. My God. That happened three weeks after the movie Ordinary People premiered. So, the critical acclaim, then that happened—it was just awful. By the way, she lost the Oscar to Sissy Spacek for Coal Miner’s Daughter.

Mary later admitted in a book she had written—I think it is called After All—that she had a drinking problem and entered the Betty Ford Clinic in 1984. A year later, she quit smoking three packs a day. I didn’t know she smoked three packs a day. Mary Tyler Moore smoked cigarettes. Also, during that time, she was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes when she was 33 years old. The disease would slowly take her vision and contribute to decades of declining health. Her personal losses—what a life. For someone as cheery and chipper and chirpy as she was, always smiling, she had some serious tragedies. She had a sister named Elizabeth who died when she was 21 years old, and her brother, John, died of kidney cancer at 47, after Mary had once assisted him in an unsuccessful operation. Both of her parents were drinkers. Her first two husbands died before her: Richard Meeker in 2013 and Grant Tinker. In 1983, she married her third husband, cardiologist Dr. Robert Levine, who had once treated Mary Tyler Moore’s mother.

Mary Tyler Moore continued to work in television, but never really recaptured the success of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, though I don’t think she really wanted to. I think she really wanted to do different things. She did a variety show called, I think, just Mary, with David Letterman, Michael Keaton, and Swoosie Kurtz—The Mary Tyler Moore Hour, which was the variety show that only had 11 episodes. She said she really liked doing some of those variety skits and things, but it just did not take off. People did not really respond to her in that way; I would imagine they just wanted to see Mary Richards. That is my guess. She also went to Broadway and earned a Tony Award. In her spare time, she did fundraising for several organizations, including the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, the ASPCA, protesting the treatment of farm animals, and she also worked for an animal adoption agency, working with New York City to establish a no-kill shelter.

Mary lived in a beautiful, huge house in Connecticut that I visited fairly recently. It was a gorgeous drive to her house. It is so massive and so far back off the road that I could not see any of the house, but I did get out and walk around the front of it anyway. It was lovely. Connecticut is a gorgeous place; I really enjoyed spending some time there. I am a little disappointed; I thought we would be able to see Mary Tyler Moore’s home, but we can see her gates. In March of 2025, Mary Tyler Moore’s home in Greenwich, Connecticut, sold for $16.9 million. It is a spectacular home. Here are some of the photographs from the property and from inside the house.

You would think that after all of that she might get a break, but not really. In her final years, she suffered from hallucinations, confusion, and falls; there were even some domestic disputes, and 911 calls were released, I think, by TMZ or something. She also had a benign tumor in her brain; she had to have brain tumor surgery, too. She became nearly blind, largely bedridden, and wheelchair-bound. Lovely Mary, it is such a sad thing.

This quote I read is complicated: “All that money and fame did little for her as she came down the home stretch in terms of having provided a life filled with good health and happiness, especially in her twilight years. And then when she took her final breath, she didn’t even have the comfort of a child or sibling’s reassuring hand gently holding hers as she slipped away to the other side.” I wonder who said that; it is quite poetic. I am pretty sure I remember this was at the hospital. Now, I am at the Greenwich Hospital, and in front of me is the Leona and Harry Helmsley Medical Building. But somewhere in the hospital here is where Mary Tyler Moore died on January 25, 2017, at 2:15 p.m. She died of cardiopulmonary arrest, aspiration pneumonia, hypoxia, and diabetes. So, this is where the person we loved as Mary Tyler Moore died. God bless her.

Now, Oaklawn Cemetery, where Mary is buried, is beautiful, too. In 500 feet, turn left. This thing does not… turn left and then turn right. “Love is all around.” How nice. “You can have the time. Why don’t you take it?” Thanks for the smiles and the laughs, Mary. Did you… were you here for the funeral? “Uh, no, I wasn’t, but I did see it online.” “Is she originally from this area?” “She’s from Brooklyn. She’s from Brooklyn. And then when she met the doc, I guess they bought a house. I think it was upstate New York. Then they found Connecticut. She had a place here in Connecticut. He just sold a big…” “Nice house.” “Yeah. But he’s back. He’s back in Greenwich.” “Okay. Thanks.”

People are so nice. Look at this grave. It is beautiful. This gentleman I just spoke to, he comes out here. This is what he does; he comes and maintains Mary’s grave and plants the flowers. He says he has issues with bunnies and deer eating the flowers, which is typical. For all the terrible things that happened to her behind the scenes, she is still best known for being that chirpy, smiley woman. And the whole Dick Van Dyke show, the thing she always said: “Oh, Rob. Oh, Rob. Oh, Rob. Oh, Rob.”

This is a fun bit of trivia. In the opening credits of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, when they show her walking down that bustling street filled with commuters in downtown Minneapolis, she stops. I guess it was a really cold day; they were saying it was a miserably cold day, which is, I am sure, winter in Minneapolis. She stops and takes the tam and the hat off her head, and with exuberance, she is supposed to be expressing it just by throwing this hat in the air. I guess none of the people—the camera crew were sort of hidden—and none of the people who were walking around knew what was going on. Just as she is throwing that hat in the air, the frame freezes. Under Mary’s arm, you can see a woman with a scarf on her head and glasses. Her name was Hazel Frederick. Hazel was this unknown extra that showed up in the opening credits. If you saw a picture of just her, you would probably recognize her right away, even though it was just a small part; you would have to look in the background to see it. It was so cold; it was the middle of January. They said, “You know what would be a good idea, Mary? Go out in the middle of the intersection and take that tam off and throw it in the air.” So, I did as I was told. Dear Hazel Frederick is frozen forever in the background, looking with what appears to be a scowling face at me. She told me later, because I did meet her, that it was just that she had no idea what was going on. She never saw a camera; she just thought there was a lunatic about to lose her life.

I read another story that Hazel’s family had, I don’t know, sued or something like that to get residuals for showing up in the opening credits. Nowadays, you would get residuals for something like that, but I don’t know if that is ever what actually happened. Hazel died in 1999; she was 91 years old and living in a nursing home in Minneapolis. Her obituary was picked up everywhere just because it was this amazing bit of trivia: the lady under Mary Richards’ arm in the opening credits.

Later on, after Mary died, the house was put up for sale, and her items were auctioned off. The one I had my eye on—I would never have bought it, I could never have afforded it—was the “M” that was in Mary Tyler Moore’s home on the wall. She took it with her when she moved to the other place. That went to auction. There was a 2023 documentary called Being Mary Tyler Moore, and Lena Waithe is the person who was the executive producer. She got the “M.” She bought it for $35,000—a little bit more than $35,000. What a cool little bit of television trivia to have: the “M.” I would like to get something of Mary’s, something real, because I like Mary very much.

The Mary Tyler Moore Show ended in 1977. Her co-star Ted Knight, who played Ted Baxter, died in August of 1986. Another co-star—these are videos that I have done, actually, a couple of these videos on her co-stars—Barbara Colby, who played the woman who was in jail with her, who made the crazy green dress that Mary Tyler Moore wore… “But I’m not sure if this fits my…” “That’s terrible.” “Well, I forgot the most important part. I’ll be in the car. I’ll be right back.” [laughter] She was murdered in an alley in Los Angeles; it is still an unsolved crime, and that was in July of 1975. Valerie Harper passed away in 2019 and is buried at Hollywood Cemetery. Betty White died on December 31, 2021. Ed Asner died in August of 2021, and Gavin MacLeod in May of 2021. So, all of Mary’s co-stars have passed.

There was an episode where Lou Grant said something which I thought was really—it was sort of sad that he said it, but this clip says it all: “Mr. Grant, about the office decor.” “Who cares?” “Well, that’s true. Taste is a very personal matter.” “In 50 years, we’ll all be dead.” “Well, yes, in the larger sense. That is true.” “So, what’s the difference?”

So, that is the story of the death of Mary Tyler Moore. I hope that you were—it is hard to say you enjoyed it because it was terrible—but I took you to Connecticut and I showed you stuff from our collection, too, so you saw some interesting things. Thank you for watching. I appreciate you watching; we both do. Your time and attention mean a lot to us. So, thanks for sticking around, and until next time.